Tuesday, May 3, 2011


Does something happen when you get old that you like to talk about strange body issues? Stop here if you want, this is your warning.

Case in point (1) my mother-in-law AND father-in-law describing a proctology exam to me. Here's how this one went down: we drive 2.5 hours to visit and are planning to stay for the weekend. We arrive around 8pm so we have to re-put Wigwam back to sleep and bring a carful of baby items inside. We sit on the couch to visit and relax and the procotology story starts. What??? Did I ask? Do i want you to continue, no. Are we close enough to even talk about this, no. Bizarre. So what do you do? I ended up leaving the room and going to take a shower. Advice??? And how do I keep this from happening again?

Case in point (2) my own mother comes to visit, Wigwam is napping inside and we are outside on the deck grilling burgers for lunch and have plans to eat on the porch. She sits down, plops off her shoes, points to her foot and says hey look at this, is it a corn? What??? I haven't seen you in months and within the first few minutes you are asking me about feet corn??? And how would I know, I have no medical training and no experience with feet corn. Gross. So I said, I'm not sure, you should google it and left to get a drink (that would be vodka starting ASAP).

Case in point (3) my mother-in-law has told me on several occasions that she has a yeast infection. What?? Let me say that the first time she told me this, Noah and I were just dating, yea I know, this should have been my clue. This is not a lady that I share secrets and ask questions of. We had not seen her for months and this is what I hear on a walk. I don't need to know! And what is the appropriate response to that?? How about go buy some medicine and tell your doctor? TMI, TMI.

My consclusion, your doctor, google and your best friend may be of help....I am none of these.

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