Friday, June 17, 2011

Yellow Alien

There have been sightings of a yellow alien (not an undocumented worker) but a real space alien. It was thought that this elusive being was only in the forest behind EAD. But due to encroachment by a Physical Fitness Trail, and Numerous errant arrows from the new Archery Club it has migrated southeast.

But this sighting happened right here in our Development office. It is fast and illustrious, so guard yourself.

The description is as follows: Body is small but yellow, smallish eyes and teeth, but when upset, the teeth turn into ravenous fangs that can tear a Carolina Fans neck out. And it has a telekinetic power and can make you think deeper thoughts that will make you feel you are insane. The alien may be tick infested, and if it touches you, your skin will have a tingling effect as if you are covered in poison ivy and coupled with the telekinetic mind power adds to the itching effect. It has an affinity for wearing human jeans but it covers its gangrenous feet with hideous yellow coverings. It is said that if a person sees its feet, that it will turn to a pillar of salt and be left in the woods as a salt lick for bears. Also, this being does procreate and it's young look exactly like human children. Do not be fooled by the cuteness of its young. That is what is uses to draw you in before it turns you into Eastern NC BBQ.

BE ADVISED: This Being is dangerous and has been known eat small goats, large donkeys and the occasional Government contractor.

Please, if you see this hideous creature, stand still, do not run of it will attack you in a most unpleasant way.


Office for (M)anagement of (E)xtraterrestria(L) and (I)ntergalactic (S)ource(S) (A)gency
AKA Office of (MELISSA)

This is the email that was sent around to the whole office today. Gotta love co-workers!